Monday, July 26, 2010

So, about that light at the end of the tunnel...

At the end of my last post I wrote, "at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel." haha Well, about that... NOW I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Little did I know, soon after I wrote that I would have an even bigger trial. I came to Utah on the 21st to be with my friends and family, and left Skyler in VA so he could focus on work and run his office. On Friday the 23rd I woke up at about 7:30am to take my sister Alyssa to West Valley. I noticed as I was getting ready that I was feeling very light headed, nauseous, and my pain was a lot worse than usual. I figured it was normal because my doctor warned me id be in a lot of pain for a few days after taking methotrexate. After I dropped her off I hurried to my doctors appointment back in Layton. They did some blood work and ran some tests and then sent me on my way. It wasn't until I got home that the symptoms got even worse. I hadn't eaten all day so my sister made me a bagel, I threw it up. Later I had a BITE of her french toast, threw that up as well. I tried drinking water and would just throw that up too. Eventually I was throwing up every 20 minutes with absolutely nothing in my stomach! When the nausea increased, so did my pain. If someone barely touched my stomach I screamed in pain. My mom was on her way home from a conference when this was all happening so when she came home she took me right to the Instacare. Of course, after I described my symptoms to the nurse she told us to head to the ER immediately. On the way to the ER I had already thrown up twice and I was so weak I could barely walk, but they took me right away when my mom explained what was happening. The doctor checked my stomach to see if there was any tenderness and everywhere he touched made my eyes well up with tears. They set me up on and IV and gave me an anti nausea medicine along with a lot of morphine, and then took me in to an ultrasound.

The ultrasound was probably the hardest part of the whole day. Ever since we found out we were pregnant an ultrasound has NEVER hurt me! My stomach was so tender I could barely stand it and the trans vaginal ultrasound was a million times worse. It hurt so bad I couldn't help but scream and tell the nurse to stop! I held on to the railing of my bed for dear life and could not stop crying, it was by far the worst pain I have ever felt and I was on MORPHINE for crying out loud!! I knew then that something was definitely wrong. When they wheeled me back in to my room I starting sobbing and told my mom that I didn't know what to do and I didn't understand why I had to go through this. I knew that it was something serious and I hoped that whatever it was didn't mean id never be able to have children.

The doctor came back in to the room and told us that my body had rejected the Methotrexate because the baby most likely had a heartbeat, and that my right Fallopian tube had burst. I would have to have emergency surgery because of the internal bleeding and I wasn't aloud to eat or drink anything until after surgery. I was numb. I didn't know what to think or say and all I could think about was...MY BABY had a HEARTBEAT. I was so upset, and I know it sounds ridiculous that from everything I just heard all I could think about was that, but it broke my heart. I was so angry that I never had the chance to hear it, but I knew that maybe if I had it would have been that much harder for me. Finally, my OBGYN doctor came in and answered some of our questions. She said I should have no fertility issues in the future if they had to remove that tube, and that the surgery was less invasive so we shouldn't have any problems. After talking to her we both felt a lot better.

Before surgery I called Skyler and let him know what was going on. He was crying (he's gunna kill me for writing that) and told me it would be like I just took a long nap and id wake up and ask, "your already done?!" haha I didn't think he meant that literally. My doctor introduced me to the anesthesiologist. I told him, "Ive seen the movie Awake, so uhhh make sure I'm completely out before you start the surgery mkay!?" lol he laughed and said, "don't you worry, you will be completely out before you know it!" Pretty much after that I don't remember anything and when I woke up I asked the nurse, "your already done!?" Skyler was right. :) My anesthesiologist told me that I was in and out for a while after surgery and that I told him of my amazing dream about Hogwarts and how I got to hang out with Harry, Hermoine, and Ron. We found 4 horcruxes and I had a really cool cape! Yep, I believe I was a little bit drugged up!

While I was coming out of surgery my doctor came and sat by my mom in the waiting room and showed her a picture of my right tube. My mom explained it to me as a big black glob of blood and the tube looked completely destroyed! The doctor said that she could not save the tube and that she had to remove it; and then showed her what it looked like without it, no more blood and looking a lot better. She said My other tube looks very healthy and there is no scarring and everything looks perfect, she also said I have a very healthy uterus as well. So, it looks like I should have a good shot at having a healthy pregnancy in the future.

My sister Alyssa felt that she wouldn't have completed her sisterly duties if she didn't take a picture of me after surgery.

We stayed the night in the hospital so they could keep an eye on me. My poor mom had gotten no sleep the night before because she was on a plane; and my blood pressure was really low, so an alarm would go off every 15 minutes. Lets just say either of us got very much sleep that night. The next morning I was still in a lot of pain but it was nice to be in a hospital and know that if anything happened I was in good hands. Also, can I just say that the the food was REALLY good? They said to stick to liquids at first so... milkshake for breakfast? YES PLEASE! The nurses said that it was a miracle how quickly I was able to get up and walk around and that I must be a fast healer. I was able to go home that night and be with my family, and even though I missed Skyler I couldn't wait to be with my nephews again! When I got home my friend Pam was there and my friend Danielle came to visit with flowers! I love them, and it was nice to have company!
I just want to say thank you to everyone for your love and support. Thank you for the flowers and for those that brought us dinner. We appreciate you guys more than you will ever know and I'm so thankful to have such great friends in my life! I'm feeling a little better every day. I can get up on my own, and the nausea isn't as bad, my stomach is finally shrinking from all the gas and air build up from surgery, and Skyler is coming to see me TONIGHT! Now, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!


  1. What a nightmare! Glad you are feeling better though and that you get to see your hubby tonight. You are such a strong person and we are all very proud of you!

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  3. haha I love that you had a dream about Harry Potter! You crack me up and I'm so glad you are on your way to a happy and healthy recovery! We love you and are so proud of you! We can already see how much you have grown from it, and think about what a better mom you will be because of it!